Are you even a Mum if you don't…???

posted in: The Mummy Chronicles | 62

Motherhood is a strange thing, you want to be the best you can be – the best mother to your child, the best teacher for him to learn from, the best role model, the best human being – but after years of minimal sleep and copious amounts of caffeine ingested coupled with the blah routine of school-runs and appeasing tantrums, you cave. And you become a real mum!
Not the pinterest-perfect one that you see in films or magazines, but the average mum-next-door kind of mum. And then you begin to do the following, and after a few years of practice, you question yourself:


Are you even a mum if you don't…???


1. Eat all the leftover Halloween candy days after Halloween, after telling your toddler it's all over?



2. Start threatening to call Santa when your kids act up – come November?

3. Use a wetwipe to quick clean the house?



4. Tell your child to put their shoes on 847 times before leaving the house, and then finally put them on yourself?

5. Do a happy jig once you drop your kid off at nursery – even if it's 9 am and other parents might be watching?

6. Start your day with coffee and end it with wine?



7. Feel guilty at least 10 times every day?

8. Stay up well past midnight pointlessly scrolling through Facebook despite being exhausted – just because it's the only quiet, alone time you get? Yes, you are now a MOMBIE.

9. Don't use dry shampoo at least twice a week? I mean, who has the time for a real hair wash???

10. Batch cook? The secret to my sanity in the kitchen. (Click here to read about the 5 must-haves in every mum's kitchen)

11. Stare at your monster child angel sleeping every night, and feel immense love, and wonder why you thought he was a total a**e through the day?


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62 Responses

  1. Helen @talking_mums

    Haha! Nodding along to all of these and yes – that moment when you watch them sleep and see how angelic they look compared to the little so and so’s they were during the day!

  2. mummy here and there

    Yes to all of these, espeically mombie – that I am a fully fledged member, haha X #dreamteam

  3. Mrs Lighty

    Haha yep!! Considering it's 22:45 when I'm writing this, number 8 definitely applies to me!! Must…go…to…bed…soon!!! xxx


  4. Emma

    Ahahaha, all very true! The only one I differ on is that I start telling my children that santa won't come when it's Summer. Never too early! 😉 #FridayFrolics

  5. Annette, 3 Little Buttons

    Oh my gosh, yes! I read this on the train this morning and was giggling to myself all the way through. Mombie is exactly it, and the shoe thing thing. What's with little ones and shoes. Thanks for joining us for the #DreamTeam – loved this! x

    • Nicole

      Thanks Annette! Wish I had an answer to the shoe hullabullo… but its just one of those things of motherhood that you learn to accept!

  6. Silly Mummy

    Haha – yep, I do most of these and have really been abusing the calling Santa line! Thanks so much for joining us for #FridayFrolics

  7. The Mummy Bubble

    Brilliant post, yes to all of these. Especially the last one! #fortheloveofBLOG

  8. Mummyitsok

    I think I used the Santa one a million times before Christmas! Problem is now it’s done I need a new thing to say lol! #readysetlink

    • Nicole

      Glad I'm not the only one Claire:) Thanks for joining us on the #itsok linky again, lovely to have you!

    • Nicole

      Hahaha, as have I. The Santa trick will work it's magic for the next few weeks:)

  9. Helen Copson

    I think I've done every single one of these! The only thing I don't do regularly is use dry shampoo – my trick is to have a fringe which I wash every day, then stick the rest of the greasy hair in a ponytail! Oh and we started threatening Santa on October 1! ha ha. Great post. #ItsOK

    • Nicole

      Ah, a fringe, genius!
      My son's birthday is in Sep, so we use that card up until then – October onwards, it's good ol' Santa;) (Long may he believe in him!!!)

  10. Pamela

    Hahaha. I can relate to a lot of these. But, I started threaten my son with Santa in January. And, I'm going to be breaking out the Santa Cam Nov. 1.

    • Nicole

      Wow, you are ACE!!! Lovely to have you join the #itsok family; hope to see you as a regular:)

  11. Toni

    Baby wipes are the best for getting out spills. Coffee, makeup, what ever use a baby wipe! Night is my only quite time and I may have took a shower before hubs wen to work and plugged my ears and stood under the water so I couldn't hear them fighting haha.

  12. Sons Over the Yardarm

    Eating all the sweets?! Outrageous! Except, yes, of course. Also remaining biscuits. And denying the existence of maple syrup because it costs a sodding fortune and they think honey is basically the same thing anyway! Made me chuckle! #itsok

    • Nicole

      Hahaha couldn't help laughing out loud at the maple syrup-honey thing. We mums do come up with brilliant ideas, don't we?!

  13. Unmindfulmama

    Yes, yes, yes…nodding manically to all of these. I'm already plotting where I'm going to stash 'my' extra Halloween loot later today. And always wondered what the word was for it, but yes, I am an absolutely Mombie!!! Great post. #ItsOK

    • Nicole

      Thank you! Good luck with nicking the Halloween stash and hello fellow Mombie – if you ever need someone to chat with in the wee hours, you'll find me online;)

  14. Jennie

    I love this. However, I use the Santa threat in the summer months too, just to keep it real you know lol!

    • Nicole

      Ah, very important to keep it real;) But I see how the Santa card can effectively work all year round – after all, he IS watching, isn't he?!

  15. Anonymous

    Oh so true! I am never more than a few feet away from a wet wipe. It's quite reassuring.

  16. Enda Sheppard

    AS a dad I relate to most of these … except maybe the dry shampoo! Wet wipes and kitchen towels up there with the great unsung inventions. #itsok

  17. Jennifer G

    I nodded along to all of these! What would we do without wet wipes?! #itsok

    • Nicole

      Hahaha, you bet! Wow, wet-wipes seem to be a favourite here! No guesses why…

  18. Tracey Carr

    This is hilarious, I am every single one of these. And more! I never leave the house with a packet of baby wipes! My own personal one which I would add to this list is subtitles. I always watch tv with the subtitles on when my kids are about – it is literally the only way I can follow what is going on because there is always a button being pressed on some toy that makes a complete racket! #itsok

    • Nicole

      Oh the sub-titles idea is genius! You're so right – otherwise it's so difficult to watch anything on telly when the kids are around…

  19. Chanene Ablett

    These are so true and so funny. Wet wipes have also been used numerous times in cleaning my car when I need to impress. #itsok

    • Nicole

      Ah, same here! Hubby does the big clean and I do the random wet-wipe sweep every now and then. Long live wet-wipes;)

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