Are you even a Mum if you don’t…???

Motherhood is a strange thing, you want to be the best you can be – the best mother to your child, the best teacher for him to learn from, the best role model, the best human being – but after years of minimal sleep and copious amounts of caffeine ingested coupled with the blah routine of school-runs and appeasing tantrums, you cave. And you become a real mum!
Not the pinterest-perfect one that you see in films or magazines, but the average mum-next-door kind of mum. And then you begin to do the following, and after a few years of practice, you question yourself:

 

Are you even a mum if you don’t…???

 

1. Eat all the leftover Halloween candy days after Halloween, after telling your toddler it’s all over?

 

 

2. Start threatening to call Santa when your kids act up – come November?

3. Use a wetwipe to quick clean the house?

 

 

4. Tell your child to put their shoes on 847 times before leaving the house, and then finally put them on yourself?

5. Do a happy jig once you drop your kid off at nursery – even if it’s 9 am and other parents might be watching?

6. Start your day with coffee and end it with wine?

 

 

7. Feel guilty at least 10 times every day?

8. Stay up well past midnight pointlessly scrolling through Facebook despite being exhausted – just because it’s the only quiet, alone time you get? Yes, you are now a MOMBIE.

9. Don’t use dry shampoo at least twice a week? I mean, who has the time for a real hair wash???

10. Batch cook? The secret to my sanity in the kitchen. (Click here to read about the 5 must-haves in every mum’s kitchen)

11. Stare at your monster child angel sleeping every night, and feel immense love, and wonder why you thought he was a total a**e through the day?

 

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62 Comments

  1. Karen, the next best thing to mummy

    Ha, this is very true #dreamteam@_karendennis

  2. Helen @talking_mums

    Haha! Nodding along to all of these and yes – that moment when you watch them sleep and see how angelic they look compared to the little so and so’s they were during the day!
    #blogcrush

    1. Nicole

      Thanks Helen! Those angelic faces do get easily forgiven, don’t they?;)

  3. mummy here and there

    Yes to all of these, espeically mombie – that I am a fully fledged member, haha X #dreamteam

    1. Nicole

      Hahaha, aren’t we all?!

  4. Mrs Lighty

    Haha yep!! Considering it’s 22:45 when I’m writing this, number 8 definitely applies to me!! Must…go…to…bed…soon!!! xxx

    #DreamTeam

    1. Nicole

      Hahahaha, bet you didn’t!;)

  5. Emma

    Ahahaha, all very true! The only one I differ on is that I start telling my children that santa won’t come when it’s Summer. Never too early! 😉 #FridayFrolics

    1. Nicole

      Agree…. never too early to work the Santa magic?

  6. Claire - Life, Love and Dirty Dishes

    Yes to all of these! (Suposed to be having an early night right now but i’m on my phone instead!!!) Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics. Sorry it’s so quiet this week.

    1. Nicole

      I’ve been promising myself an early night since … forever! Never do it!!!

  7. Annette, 3 Little Buttons

    Oh my gosh, yes! I read this on the train this morning and was giggling to myself all the way through. Mombie is exactly it, and the shoe thing thing. What’s with little ones and shoes. Thanks for joining us for the #DreamTeam – loved this! x

    1. Nicole

      Thanks Annette! Wish I had an answer to the shoe hullabullo… but its just one of those things of motherhood that you learn to accept!

  8. Alli

    Lol. Fantastic, Nicole. Loved every one of these. Shared.
    #fortheloveofBLOG

    1. Nicole

      Thanks so much Alli! Appreciate it.

  9. Silly Mummy

    Haha – yep, I do most of these and have really been abusing the calling Santa line! Thanks so much for joining us for #FridayFrolics

    1. Nicole

      The Santa one is a must!!! Always works a charm (mean mommy alert).

  10. The Mummy Bubble

    Brilliant post, yes to all of these. Especially the last one! #fortheloveofBLOG

  11. Mummyitsok

    I think I used the Santa one a million times before Christmas! Problem is now it’s done I need a new thing to say lol! #readysetlink

    1. Nicole

      Dreading when our kids realise Santa is non-existent!!!

  12. Claire Rocks

    Nicole, you certainly speak the truth here! I have definitely done all of the above things without fail! #itsok

    1. Nicole

      Glad I’m not the only one Claire:) Thanks for joining us on the #itsok linky again, lovely to have you!

  13. Jo (A Rose Tinted World)

    Yup, nodding along to these! I’ve already started quoting that ‘Santa is watching’… #itsok

    1. Nicole

      Hahaha, as have I. The Santa trick will work it’s magic for the next few weeks:)

  14. Helen Copson

    I think I’ve done every single one of these! The only thing I don’t do regularly is use dry shampoo – my trick is to have a fringe which I wash every day, then stick the rest of the greasy hair in a ponytail! Oh and we started threatening Santa on October 1! ha ha. Great post. #ItsOK

    1. Nicole

      Ah, a fringe, genius!
      My son’s birthday is in Sep, so we use that card up until then – October onwards, it’s good ol’ Santa;) (Long may he believe in him!!!)

  15. Pamela

    Hahaha. I can relate to a lot of these. But, I started threaten my son with Santa in January. And, I’m going to be breaking out the Santa Cam Nov. 1.

    1. Nicole

      Wow, you are ACE!!! Lovely to have you join the #itsok family; hope to see you as a regular:)

  16. Toni

    Baby wipes are the best for getting out spills. Coffee, makeup, what ever use a baby wipe! Night is my only quite time and I may have took a shower before hubs wen to work and plugged my ears and stood under the water so I couldn’t hear them fighting haha.

    1. Nicole

      That’s absolutely ok Toni. A mum’s gotta do what a mum’s gotta do!
      And I have wet-wipe packets in every room of my house; whatever the issue I know there’s a wet-wipe at arm’s reach:)
      Here’s a poem I wrote to beloved wet-wipes, if you fancy a giggle:
      https://talesfrommamaville.com/an-ode-to-wetwipes/

  17. Gemma - Mummy's Waisted

    Yes, yes, a million times yes! I’m already hatching a plan for eating the leftover Halloween sweets, and perhaps not even mentioning that I’ve bought some of it…..#itsok

    1. Nicole

      Brilliant Gemma! We mamas deserve these sneaky treats;)

  18. Sons Over the Yardarm

    Eating all the sweets?! Outrageous! Except, yes, of course. Also remaining biscuits. And denying the existence of maple syrup because it costs a sodding fortune and they think honey is basically the same thing anyway! Made me chuckle! #itsok

    1. Nicole

      Hahaha couldn’t help laughing out loud at the maple syrup-honey thing. We mums do come up with brilliant ideas, don’t we?!

  19. Liberty Henwick

    Yes! And definitely the last one, they are always so beautiful when they’re sleeping. #itsok

    1. Nicole

      Agree, peace and love is restored again.

  20. Unmindfulmama

    Yes, yes, yes…nodding manically to all of these. I’m already plotting where I’m going to stash ‘my’ extra Halloween loot later today. And always wondered what the word was for it, but yes, I am an absolutely Mombie!!! Great post. #ItsOK

    1. Nicole

      Thank you! Good luck with nicking the Halloween stash and hello fellow Mombie – if you ever need someone to chat with in the wee hours, you’ll find me online;)

  21. Jennie

    I love this. However, I use the Santa threat in the summer months too, just to keep it real you know lol!
    #itsOK

    1. Nicole

      Ah, very important to keep it real;) But I see how the Santa card can effectively work all year round – after all, he IS watching, isn’t he?!

  22. kate

    Yep! I think I passed the test with flying colours! Do I get a hat and a balloon? xxx #ItsOK

    1. Nicole

      And a sweetie too Kate (from your kids’ Halloween stash haha)!

  23. Anonymous

    Oh so true! I am never more than a few feet away from a wet wipe. It’s quite reassuring.

    1. Nicole

      Indeed it is…

  24. Emma

    I’m pretty sure I’m now roughly 80% Batiste. Luckily grey-blonde is in!! #itsok

    1. Nicole

      Hahaha, I’d look like hell if I didn’t have my Batiste! Lifesaver!!!

  25. Enda Sheppard

    AS a dad I relate to most of these … except maybe the dry shampoo! Wet wipes and kitchen towels up there with the great unsung inventions. #itsok

    1. Nicole

      Agree… what would life be without wet-wipes!!!

  26. Jennifer G

    I nodded along to all of these! What would we do without wet wipes?! #itsok

    1. Nicole

      Hahaha, you bet! Wow, wet-wipes seem to be a favourite here! No guesses why…

  27. Tracey Carr

    This is hilarious, I am every single one of these. And more! I never leave the house with a packet of baby wipes! My own personal one which I would add to this list is subtitles. I always watch tv with the subtitles on when my kids are about – it is literally the only way I can follow what is going on because there is always a button being pressed on some toy that makes a complete racket! #itsok

    1. Nicole

      Oh the sub-titles idea is genius! You’re so right – otherwise it’s so difficult to watch anything on telly when the kids are around…

  28. Chanene Ablett

    These are so true and so funny. Wet wipes have also been used numerous times in cleaning my car when I need to impress. #itsok

    1. Nicole

      Ah, same here! Hubby does the big clean and I do the random wet-wipe sweep every now and then. Long live wet-wipes;)

  29. Noleen Miller

    Yip to all of the above – the things that we as mothers do to get through life #itsok

    1. Nicole

      I agree! It’s more like survival tactics, isn’t it?

  30. Mom Of Two Little Girls

    Yes to all of these!!! I can’t even pick a favourite because all of them apply! #itsok

    1. Nicole

      Hahahaha, you’re a ‘proper’ mum then I suppose;)

  31. Crummy Mummy

    The only one of these I don’t do is dry shampoo – I do all the others though! #itsok

    1. Nicole

      You still pass the ‘mum’ test, don’t worry;)

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