The Anatomy of a Toddler

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Toddlers are weird creatures unique little beings. With a (strong-willed) mind of their own, and logic that is utterly illogical. There is no reasoning and there are no explanations. In their world, IT JUST IS.

Having gone through Little Man's toddlerhood with all it's ups and downs, I am somewhat of an expert (you live and learn) in the field. So I thought of sharing my toddler-knowledge with all you lot – you can either nod in agreement or be prepared for the most insane, most exciting and most confusing stage of your child's development.

toddlers


1. Toddlers are confusing, think Jekyll and Hyde

One day their favourite colour is red. Be assured when you buy them a RED anything, they will scream their heads out. Because now their favourite colour is blue!!!
On Monday (and every other Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday etc etc) they want their sandwiches in neatly-cut triangles. But the day will come when all hell will break loose at the sight of that triangular piece of bread – WE WANT SQUARE SANDWICHES!!!

2. Toddlers have weird Rules of Play 

If you're the parent of a little boy, cars will undoubtedly be the King of Toys. But there are strict rules on how to play cars with a toddler. Heaven help you if you disobey!
Toddlers also have an uncanny ability to ALWAYS want whatever another toddler has (toy/ food/ book). However, if you go and purchase that EXACT object for them, they won't even look at it at home. Until… their playdate touches it! When all hell will break loose again…

3. Really, what is it with toddlers and food?!

Can someone please tell me how toddlers can snack ALL DAY? How can they consume packets of crisps and breadsticks and biscuits and grapes and cheese – apart from their 3 main meals???
What also baffles me is how a toddler can be "starving" precisely 7 minutes after dinner? Every bloody night!

4. And toddlers and socks?

And why do they love socks so much? Wearing them (sometimes on feet and hands – or is my son the only one who does that?), playing with them, constantly removing them then asking for them to be put back on… it's just a sodding sock, kid!

5. And don't even get me started on bedtime!!!

I've penned an entire post on bedtime blues. Toddlers are masters at:
a) Becoming most active 5 minutes before bedtime
b) Finding amazingly creative excuses to continuously pop out of bed
c) Feeling hungry (refer to point 3) and thirsty precisely at bedtime
d) Landing up in your bed at some point during the night
e) Kicking/ punching you out of your own bed

6. Do you'll REALLY have to watch us pee? Every time?

I mean seriously. Get over it! I know potty training is a huge deal and it's all new and wow and stuff, but after the first 18,000 times, what's to watch in mummy doing her business?

7. And must you'll watch utter crap on Youtube?

We pay for an Amazon Prime subscription so you can enjoy episodes and episodes of Paw Patrol, Fireman Sam, Caillou, Ninjago and whatever else you want to watch. Yet WHY do you prefer watching their fake versions on youtube? Worse still, watching other kids play with their toys?

8. And, finally, the big question; Why are your noses always snotty?

A toddler has a snotty nose/ sniffling nose/ nose full of booger/ one or more of the above at least once every month. I get that infections spread at nursery and all that, but it has come to a point where you say 'toddler' and the first word that springs to mind is 'snot'!

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26 Responses

  1. kristin mccarthy

    OMG their rules are SO WEIRD!  I just stare at the twins when they play thier strange games.  I mean I dont join in cause God knows I never get it right!

    Thanks for linking up with #globalblogging

    • Nicole

      Hahahaha… true. Unless we are 'ordered' to join in and dare we do something wrong!

  2. Helen @Talking_Mums

    Yes to all of this, kids have have their own rules that are a big secret they can't tell us and they change them daily so we never figure them out! x

    #GlobalBlogging

  3. Siobhan

    Lol very true! Particularly the sock thing! Mine has taken all the dry socks off the clothes horse, put them in a mixing bowl and is stirring them around, which is apparently the best game ever! #FridayFrolics

    • Nicole

      Lol. Not surprised… my little fellow loves wearing his socks as gloves and pretending he's a superhero!

  4. Peachy and her Mommy

    Every morning when I make Peachy's breakfast I know there is a 50/50 chance that she will decide it's poisonous and throw it on the floor even if she loved it the last 10 times I made it. #FridayFrolics

    • Nicole

      LOL…Poisonous;) I get you… with toddlers, you just never know! Thanks for reading:)

  5. Emma Island Living 365

    Ahahaha, they are so weird, I mean cute, I mean weird! They only one we don't have is the socks! Youngest hates them and will remove them at every given opportunity. She then likes to hide them from me. I have found socks behind the sofa, under the TV and in the fridge. You name it and I will probably find a sock there! #FridayFrolics

  6. Nicole

    Like them or hate them, there is always a (strange) connection with socks;) In the fridge OMG!!!

  7. Lucy At Home

    Hehe yup a pretty accurate picture, I say! Haha. My kids are always hungry, except meal times when they're either really full or poorly! #blogcrush

  8. The Mum Project

    Omg I'm scared lol. My son is only 15 months and he's already doing a lot of these! He is a menace five mins before bed and cries every single time without fail. He also snacks all day long, it's slightly annoying but then I remember I do actually love him haha. Thanks for sharing with #StayClassyMama!

    • Nicole

      LOL… Good luck for the Terrible Twos and the Tantruming Threenager! I have a post on the signs of a Threenager and the Seven Deadly Stages of a Tantrum, but don't want to scare you lol.
      Though I also have a post on '5 things I love about the Terrible Threes' so it's not all bad;)
      Enjoy!

  9. jeremy-thirstydaddy

    I never understood the things my daughter would watch on you-tube. Mostly it was just other people opening packages and little eggs with stuff inside. Its insane #fridayfrolics

    • Nicole

      Absolutely insane. Pointless rubbish! In fact, because we keep telling him it's rubbish, he now officially calls it that – Mummy I want to see rubbish🙄🙄🙄

  10. Claire - Life, Love and Dirty Dishes

    Toddlers are the most stubborn creatures ever. My three year old was shivering today and had blue lips and was telling me that he was cold. Would he put a jumper on? Of course not. that would be far too logical! Thanks for linking up to the final #FridayFrolics and for all of your support with the linky. I have loved reading your posts and will continue to do so. Thanks for the giggles.

    • Nicole

      Ah, their logic! Don't even get me started on that!!!
      i've loved this linky Claire and am a bit sad to wave goodbye, but I'm sure you have lovelier things in store:)
      Thank you!

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