A letter to my son on Valentine's Day…

It's Valentine's Day today. Not a day I particularly celebrate. Not because I have no-one to send those heart-shaped balloons to, but because it's well, kind of done and dusted now. The day, not my target of affection (hubster, incase you were wondering…).

I had my fill of romantic dinner dates and V-day cards and gifts when it was all fresh and exciting and you know, a BIG THING (back when I was nineteenish). Our love has grown since then, though the outwardly show of affection has probably mellowed. A decade and a half later, add a child to the equation, and Valentine's day is just about as ordinary as any other day (especially for a mom, read this and you'll know why).

So this February 14th, instead of writing a love letter to hubster, I decided to write one to my son. Give a twist of sorts to things. After all, who said V-day has to be just about lovers? It's about celebrating LOVE, isn't it?

 

My darling Little Man,

I know you will probably read this 'letter' (blog post) after a couple of years, and will probably only understand the depth of it much, much later, but there are so many things I want to tell you, so I'm just going to pour my heart out.

For starters, YOU ARE GROWING UP WAY TOO FAST FOR MY LIKING!!! Somedays I wish I could just press the 'pause' button on you for a while, to be able to take in more of your laughter, cuddles, chatter, those mispronounced words. To kiss your forehead while you sleep, tickle you and hear those squeals and chuckles, kiss your still-chubbyish cheeks again and again, and look at those cute bums now in cute underwear. (Of course if you throw tantrums and be difficult, I will press 'fast-forward' instead…).

 

I know I often complain that motherhood is relentless and that I wish I had more time to myself. I confess on some days I look forward to a few years hence when you will be at school, so I can get a few more hours free. But then, when I drop you off at pre-school, I can't wait to see you again… and I look forward to the days you're home with me because I realise that once you start school, we'll never get our together-time again. You will be busy with your life and friends and you will probably not want to cuddle me and see 'super eeros'.

I also want to tell you that you are the single-most important thing in our lives. Even though you exhaust the hell out of us, torment us at bedtime, take up more than half the space on our bed and sometimes are a real brat, you are nothing short of an angel. You have made me realise a love so strong, so precious, so amazing; it scares me sometimes. Your father and I really don't know how we will love your future sibling as much!!!

I want to say thank-you to you for so many things. For being you – mischievous, angelic, cute you. For making us proud (my heart soars when your teachers tell me all those wonderful things about you). For being the sweet, loving and caring son and boy that you are growing up to be.

But I also want to say sorry for so many things. For losing my temper at you when the day's not going great, for not understanding you sometimes, for letting you be entertained by the television when I could play with you instead, for sometimes being 'bored' playing cars and pretend-playing with you, and then let you watch some more TV … believe me I feel terrible. The Momguilt is real.

 

 

But I hope you understand that it's not because I love you any less at that point in time. It's just that I am exhausted or my mind is numb with doing routine chores and I just need some down-time, or the piles of laundry just have to be done. And when I shout at you to discipline you, it's just because I want you to be the best you can be. That said, I love snuggling up with you on the couch and reading (but five books at a time is kind of the limit, ok? Otherwise my brain starts to get a bit fried again).

And you know the best part of our day together? Just before bedtime (no, not the horror hour trying to get you changed, brushed and into bed), but when we're lying down on the bed together, and I'm making up stories and you're listening wide-eyed and amazed, chipping in with your additions. And then you share things about your day, what you did, what you enjoyed, what upset you – I love this bonding time we have. Please, please continue doing that even when you're older!

And it melts my heart when you randomly tell me you love me so much or that I'm the best mummy; when you ask if I'm feeling better when I'm unwell or when you say you're sorry for "doing naughty things today" before kissing me goodnight.

I know this letter's long, and even though I can go on and on, I will conclude by promising you one thing. I know I am not a pinterest-perfect, baking, crafty supermum, but I am a mum who loves her son to the moon and back. And will do everything in my power to keep you happy and safe and loved.

Your ever-loving mum…

 

 

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I've linked this post with these fab linkies

Rhyming with Wine

One Messy Mama

Run Jump Scrap!
Twin Mummy and Daddy
Cuddle Fairy
Surrey Mama
Motherhood The Real Deal

Lucy At Home

55 Responses

    • Nicole

      Yes, the stiff aches we wake up with each morning, courtesy being pushed to the corner of the bed/ kicked around at night… aah, the joys of parenting:) Thanks for reading…

    • Nicole

      Awww, bless you! That's so sweet. I'm sure every parent feels the same way. Thank you so much for your kind comments:)

  1. Mary

    Absolutely beautiful letter <3 You're such a lovely mum. I don't celebrate V-Day, but I really like the idea of non-romantic love being honoured on that day too! 🙂

     

     #BestandWorst

  2. Sarah Howe

    Aw you sound like a fab Mum. Your son is lucky and I hope he reads this when he is older. I enjoy the random cuddles and baths together with my daughter. Makes the crap so worthwhile. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

    • Nicole

      You're so right, the cuddles and moments of spontaneous affection really makes the crap worthwhile! 
      Hope to make him read the entire blog one day lol – so he knows what a brat (and cuteheart) he was;)

    • Nicole

      Thank you Alana. And this line is so lovely – All we can ever do is our best in that moment.
      So true

  3. WebMDiva

    I'm so hormonal, this made me cry!

    Your son is lucky to have such a loving mama. You're doing an amazing job. Never question yourself.

     

    #StayClassyMama

    • Nicole

      Thank you:) Yes, I'm looking forward to the time we can both sit down and read the blog together… wonder what his reaction will be:)

  4. Sarah - Mud, Cakes and Wine

    What a lovely post. Real words from the heart ❤️ #StayClassyMama

  5. Jaki

    This letter just makes me realise that we are all normal mums. I could have written this myself. It's beautiful. That time of day is my favourite too. So precious. Mine starts school in september so the next few months are going to be so special. Thanks for sharing. #thatfridaylinky

    • Nicole

      Thanks for the lovely comment. Yes, all we mums go through the same rollercoaster of emotions. At the end of the day, we're all in the same boat!

      Enjoy this precious time with your little one:)

  6. mainy

    That was so beautiful! As a mum of two boys it made me want to cry as it got me quite emotional….oh hormones eh??!:)

    Mainy

    #stayclassy

  7. nige

    Beautiful post a lovely keepsake Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY  come back next week please 

  8. The Mum Project

    This is so sweet, what an amazing letter to your son! I too lose my patience and feel guilty, but I think we have to remember that on the other days when we are less tired we are fully there! Some days are tough but the good days make up for it. Thanks for sharing with #stayclassymama!

  9. New Mummy Blog

    What a sweet letter! I actually must say it resonates strongly with me, having a two year old indefinitely sympathise with so many points, and also love the cuddles we get now knowing it might be harder later. #bestandworst 

  10. New Mummy Blog

    What a sweet letter! I actually must say it resonates strongly with me, having a two year old indefinitely sympathise with so many points, and also love the cuddles we get now knowing it might be harder later. #bestandworst 

    • Nicole

      Thanks for reading…. yes, the cuddles and impromptu acts of kindness and love are just the best, aren't they?:)

  11. fridgesays

    #candidcuddles this is going to sound stupid, but i never thought about my little dude reading my blog? i guess he will…thtas kind of cool and kind of terrifying all at the same time…haha

    • Nicole

      Lol. Yes, wonder whether he'll laugh/ think it hilarious/ be embarrassed/ be super proud… either ways, it will be fun I'm sure:) 

  12. Becky, Cuddle Fairy

    Aw that photo with the tiny shoes is so cute! The time flies & all of a sudden they aren't little so I agree you have to enjoy it while it lasts even sometimes when it can be difficult & tests your patience. Thank you for joining us at #candidcuddles 

    • Nicole

      Yes… that's what I do now… whenever I'm having a  tough day I tell myself it's not going to last forever… and one day my little boy will grow up!

  13. Talya

    Such a lovely post I really hope you print this off and give it to him one day when he is older because it is just so beautiful! Thanks for sharing with #coolmumclub xoxo

    • Nicole

      Ah, thank you lovely. It is one of my personal favourite posts, and I do hope to make Little Man read it one day. Guess he will understand it to the tee when he becomes a father himself;)

  14. Kate The Muddled Mum

    What a beautiful letter to your little boy. Sometimes motherhood seems really hard so this is a lovely reminder of how wonderful motherhood is. Thank you #ThursdayTeam

    • Nicole

      Thank you Kate. Yes it's important to remember the good times to keep you going through the rollercoaster called motherhood:)

  15. Liberty Henwick

    Such a lovely letter, he sounds like a darling boy with the sweet things he tells you. You are right that its so important to remind ourselves we are doing the best we can even though we don't get it perfectly right all the time. #BlogCrush

  16. Nicola

    This is a lovely letter to your son and you're right, they definitely grow up too fast! My son turns 14 this year and I don't quite know how it happened! #blogstravaganza

    • Nicole

      Thanks Nicola. I get what you're saying, sometimes I wonder when and how my little baby turned into this four-year-old who talks (and often behaves) like an adult!

  17. Lucy At Home

    Aaaaw beautiful! Your son will love to read this when he get older. I love reading letter like this, that just take time to appreciate the little things in life. #blogcrush

  18. Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love)

    Oh this is so beautiful. Those snuggly moments and the unprompted I love yous are just wonderful aren't they? Mom guilt is horrible though and I think all of us can relate to having those moments of getting snappy and being bored of playing games and just feeling exhausted by the relentlessness that parenthood can bring sometimes. It doesn't mean we love our children any less, just that we're human and tired and probably a little bit overwhelmed too. We're just trying to do our best, not always managing it – but we keep trying anyway. As long as our children are looked after and loved, then we're doing just fine x #coolmumclub

    • Nicole

      Ah thank you Louise, this is such a lovely comment:) You have said it perfectly – we mums are always trying to do our best, and sometimes forget that we are humans with our own needs and limitations too! Thanks for reading x

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