Mumguilt. We ALL have it, feel it, hate it but learn to live with it. Because no matter how hard we try or how much we do, it just never seems enough. If we are SAHMums, we feel guilty about not being able to contribute financially; if we work, we feel guilty about leaving our child in another's care.
If we put on the TV and let our toddler be entertained by it, we feel the guilt. But if we don't, and therefore cannot get a decent dinner on the table for the family, we still feel it. Getting the drift? Whatever we do, that goddamn Mother G points her wretched finger at us.
Here are two posts I've written on the subject – Back off, Momguilt!!! and Confessions of an Exhausted Mummy – if you fancy a read. So this month I thought I'd ask other mums what their biggest Mum Guilt is…
Jennie from Rice Cakes and Raisins
Not playing with my children as much as I think I should. Playing with them doesn't always come easily for me. When it comes to imaginative play, something my four year old loves to do, I never seem to be able to quite get inside his mindset and he always tells me I'm getting it wrong! If I sit and colour-in or play a board game with him, then the baby will cry that he's being left out or will snatch the pens for example and then there's a big drama! Likewise if I'm playing with the baby, I feel guilty that my little boy feels left out. If I try and play with them together they get annoyed at each other and fight. I wish I found it easier but I much prefer them to play independently!
Naomi from Trips with a tot
Fruit shoots! I swore to myself I would never give them.
Susan from The Edinburgh Mummy
Giving my sons my phone/tablet to play on so I can get on with work.
When I find myself saying 'just a minute' or 'hang on' a little too often!
Victoria from The Growing Mum
Doing sleep training! The screams still haunt me even though bedtimes are now a breeze and he sleeps for 10 hours instead of 2 hour stretches!
Ally from The SML Diet
What don't I feel guilty about?! I guess mine is time. Running my own business means that during the holidays they are dragged to my office and have to play in my office whilst I get work done. I know it's boring but I've got to work!
Rachael from From Rachael Claire
Putting my son in front of the telly in the morning so I can grab some breakfast and a drink. Sometimes it’s the only thing I can eat before his dad comes home in the late afternoon!
At the moment I feel guilty about the fact that I need time away from my son. I feel so relaxed and happy when my mum takes him for the day – but shouldn't I want to spend as much time with him as possible? Shouldn't I be worrying about him being gone? Instead I love that day to myself.
Pip from Pip Milburn
Looking forward to the one day a week my toddler goes to nursery, just so I can have some time to myself (and go to the loo without an audience!).
Laura from Autumn's Mummy
I've just gone back to work, although fortunately only part-time for the moment. I feel so much mum guilt about leaving my daughter with a childminder. I have to try and remind myself that it's for her good, as if we can't afford to pay the bills, how are we meant to keep all 3 of us looked after and healthy?
I say 'maybe' a lot, when I actually just mean no. 'Mum, can we do some painting today?' "Maybe!'. 'Mum, can we do some play doh before school this morning'? 'Maybe later!'
Mandy from Mumatron At Work
Feeling bad at cheering my son on at his boxing bout… turned kind of lunatic! Read this post for a detailed explanation!
Wishing for a bit of time to myself, I always feel so bad, I love my children but I miss being on my own, then I feel bad and regret thinking it.
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