Mumspeak #5: What's the ONE thing you feel most guilty about as a Mum

posted in: Lists, The Mummy Chronicles | 14

 

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Mumguilt. We ALL have it, feel it, hate it but learn to live with it. Because no matter how hard we try or how much we do, it just never seems enough. If we are SAHMums, we feel guilty about not being able to contribute financially; if we work, we feel guilty about leaving our child in another's care.

If we put on the TV and let our toddler be entertained by it, we feel the guilt. But if we don't, and therefore cannot get a decent dinner on the table for the family, we still feel it. Getting the drift? Whatever we do, that goddamn Mother G points her wretched finger at us.

Here are two posts I've written on the subject – Back off, Momguilt!!! and Confessions of an Exhausted Mummy – if you fancy a read. So this month I thought I'd ask other mums what their biggest Mum Guilt is…

 

 

Jennie from Rice Cakes and Raisins

Not playing with my children as much as I think I should. Playing with them doesn't always come easily for me. When it comes to imaginative play, something my four year old loves to do, I never seem to be able to quite get inside his mindset and he always tells me I'm getting it wrong! If I sit and colour-in or play a board game with him, then the baby will cry that he's being left out or will snatch the pens for example and then there's a big drama! Likewise if I'm playing with the baby, I feel guilty that my little boy feels left out. If I try and play with them together they get annoyed at each other and fight. I wish I found it easier but I much prefer them to play independently!

Naomi from Trips with a tot

Fruit shoots! I swore to myself I would never give them.

Susan from The Edinburgh Mummy

Giving my sons my phone/tablet to play on so I can get on with work.

Jaki from JakiJellz

When I find myself saying 'just a minute' or 'hang on' a little too often!

Victoria from The Growing Mum

Doing sleep training! The screams still haunt me even though bedtimes are now a breeze and he sleeps for 10 hours instead of 2 hour stretches!

Ally from The SML Diet

What don't I feel guilty about?! I guess mine is time. Running my own business means that during the holidays they are dragged to my office and have to play in my office whilst I get work done. I know it's boring but I've got to work!

Rachael from From Rachael Claire

Putting my son in front of the telly in the morning so I can grab some breakfast and a drink. Sometimes it’s the only thing I can eat before his dad comes home in the late afternoon!

Christy from Welsh Mum

At the moment I feel guilty about the fact that I need time away from my son. I feel so relaxed and happy when my mum takes him for the day – but shouldn't I want to spend as much time with him as possible? Shouldn't I be worrying about him being gone? Instead I love that day to myself.

Pip from Pip Milburn

Looking forward to the one day a week my toddler goes to nursery, just so I can have some time to myself (and go to the loo without an audience!).

Laura from Autumn's Mummy

I've just gone back to work, although fortunately only part-time for the moment. I feel so much mum guilt about leaving my daughter with a childminder. I have to try and remind myself that it's for her good, as if we can't afford to pay the bills, how are we meant to keep all 3 of us looked after and healthy?

Jodie from Maidenhead Mum

I say 'maybe' a lot, when I actually just mean no. 'Mum, can we do some painting today?' "Maybe!'. 'Mum, can we do some play doh before school this morning'? 'Maybe later!'

Mandy from Mumatron At Work

Feeling bad at cheering my son on at his boxing bout… turned kind of lunatic! Read this post for a detailed explanation!

Sarah from Mummy Cat Notes

Wishing for a bit of time to myself, I always feel so bad, I love my children but I miss being on my own, then I feel bad and regret thinking it.

 

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14 Responses

    • Nicole

      Thanks for taking part Jodie. And yes, it is important to remember that we aren't alone in this motherhood game – we ALL have bad days and go through the guilt and face the tantrums!!!

  1. MMT

    For me it's gotta be hands down the phone usage. Being a stay at home Mum means I way too often get distracted into whats going on outside these four walls – reading the news, checking e mails, looking up recipes you name it – yet to them I'm just Mum staring blankly at her phone (again). Bad Mum.
    Thanks for linking to #coolmumclub

    • Nicole

      I'm so guilty of that as well! Especially when I'm on social media:( I tell myself it's all blog work but it's still Mum on her phone…

  2. Marylin

    Honestly? Not much these days! My boys are 12 and 10 now and as they’ve grown and are growing into such great kids, I’ve sort of let go of the mum guilt. Am I perfect? Nope! Does it matter? Nope! They’re happy, they’re healthy, and they’re safe.
    Let go of the mum guilt ladies! I promise you, you’ll feel amazing! ❤️

    • Nicole

      Thanks Marylin… will keep that advice in mind. Yes as long as they are happy, healthy and safe, that's what matters…

  3. Nicola - Clarke Life

    Like Jennie, I always feel guilty that I don't play enough with the children. I see other mums getting stuck in, doing role play, play dough, playing with barbies and I just find it so difficult. I do other things to spend time with them but always feel it's not enough. #coolmumclub

    • Nicole

      I'm with you on that one… there's just always so much else to do, and if I am honest, it gets a tad boring playing pretend-games THE WHOLE DAY! But the mumguilt kills me:(

  4. sharon brison

    I feel even more guilty when I hear "you never spend time with us"!!! aarrrggghhh. Its a tough one Mum guilt but its always comforting in one sense to know we're arent on our own with it. Its funny though, as when I do suggest some 'bonding' time no one is available! Thanks for linking up enjoyed reading this #Blogstravaganza

    • Nicole

      Oh yes, even after playing superheroes with my 4-year-old for half the morning, he tells me (the minute I open my laptop): "But you never play with me!!!" Really???!!!

  5. Kirsty

    I love this! Thank you for making me feel like less of a rubbish Mum! I love the interactivity of your post too, like therapy for all us like minded parents! #blogstravaganza

    • Nicole

      Ah thank you so much, that is such a lovely comment. #Mumspeak is a monthly series I have on my blog, where I put forth a question and ask a number of mums for their opinions/ views. I'd love you to take part too:)

  6. The Tale of Mummyhood

    Mum guilt is the worst, I always feel guilty about leaving our girls when we go out. It isn;t often but I always feel terrible about it. Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

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