The #itsok challenge: Ditching the Mum Guilt
I’m loving the #itsok challenge that Jennie from the parenting blog Rice Cakes and Raisins has started. It’s a mission to make us fellow mums feel a bit better about ourselves, our parenting skills (or lack thereof) and to reassure each and every exhausted mum out there that we’re all doing OK. To read more on the challenge, and to participate, read this.
Of course, the challenge has since grown into an awesome weekly linky – the #itsok linky – and I love how we’ve become a little community now, giving one another virtual pats on the back, support and a few laughs. Because #itsok to sit back and take parenting with a pinch of salt sometimes…
So here are my 10 #itsok to confessions; how many resonate with you too?
1) #itsok to give your toddler fish fingers for dinner – again – because you are too damn tired to cook a fresh meal.
2) #itsok to hand your phone/ the i-pad/ kindle/ any electronic device to your toddler first thing in the morning, just so you get 15 more minutes shut-eye.
3) #itsok to skip a few lines (or pages) of a book you’ve already read to your toddler 87 times!
4) #itsok to threaten to cancel your kid’s birthday party (note: I said threaten; I would never really do it) because he’s throwing tantrums every day for everything!
5) #itsok to scroll through Facebook or check Twitter while on the loo – you deserve those extra five minutes of alone-time. Unless, of course you have an audience aka your toddler!
6) #itsok to let your four-year-old co-sleep – if it works for you’ll as a family and everyone’s getting sleep, then #itsok. Your child will not be in your bed when he or she is 17!
7) #itsok to let your pre-schooler be a baby once in a while – let him sleep in your bed if he wants to, feed him if he wants to be fed, allow him to sit on your lap. Because blink and these days are gone…
8) #itsok to pretend to be in deep sleep when your toddler has an early start on a weekend – and let your dear husband wake up and take him downstairs. (Hubster, if you’re reading this, I am really in deep sleep. Promise)
9) #itsok to lose your s**t sometimes. Parenting is tough, toddlers/ pre-schoolers can sometimes be a***holes, and every moment cannot be rose-tinted. The reality is lack of sleep, a load full of tantrums, and food thrown on the floor. So – its jolly well ok to lose it sometimes. We are supermums yes, but we are also human.
10) #itsok to just sit back and relax once in a while. The dishes and laundry can wait, your toddler can play by himself (if everything else fails, switch on the telly), and that blog post that’s been sitting in your drafts folder for days can rest for another day. Don’t let the guilt ruin it. Sit down, close your eyes, drink a cup of tea, read a few pages of your favourite book or a trashy magazine… forget the world and refresh even if it’s just for five minutes! You deserve it mum!!!
Do any of these resonate with you? What are your #itsok confessions? I’d love to read them…
And, last but not the least, let’s not forget that we mums need to take care of ourselves as well. As it’s said, you can’t pour from an empty cup! Here’s a lovely post on 10 Ways Self-Care For Mums Is Possible
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I’ve linked this post with these fab linkies
Siobhan
Ahhh great post! Can definitely relate to a lot of these! #FridayFrolics
Nicole
Thanks Siobhan:)
Emma
Ahaha, the deep sleep and fish fingers is always a winner over here but I can relate to every single one! #FridayFrolics
Nicole
Thank god for chicken nuggets and fish fingers!
Claire - Life, Love and Dirty Dishes
Love this. My big one would be that It’s ok to want time to myself. I spent years feeling guility for this, but now I know that having time to myself makes me a better Mum. Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics
Nicole
That’s so true Claire. I still feel guilty but you are right – it makes us better mums!
Silly Mummy
Yep, all definitely okay! Especially fish fingers – one of the few things both my kids will always eat! Thanks so much for joining us for #FridayFrolics
Nicole
I always have a packet of fish fingers in my freezer… for THOSE days!
Helena
Ah yes the co-sleeping has been done on occasion. #BlogCrush
Nicole
🙂 thanks for popping over Helena!
Wendy
Umm, big fat yes to every single one of these! I would also add #itsok to put yourself first sometimes too, as that saying goes ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’ or something like that. Fab post xx #blogcrush
Nicole
Thanks Wendy, and completely agree with you on sometimes putting yourself first. We need a break from time to time.
Clare
hahaha I absolutely love this!!! In fact with number 1 Freddie told me off as he had fish fingers at school and couldn’t possibly have them for dinner as well, as it was junk food!!!!!! HE HAD THEM ANYWAY!!!!
Nicole
LOL… though it’s so annoying when our kids won’t eat the same meal – again!!! I mean, we’re giving you yummy stuff, just eat it now, will you!;) Thank you so much for linking up with us at #itsok
Jayne
Brilliant post number 8 is me every Saturday no #mumguilt here for that one would get up to my 2 even at the weekend but now I’m pregnant again not a chance I’m taking all the sleep I can get!! #itsok
Nicole
Well done! You deffo deserve the weekend lie-ins:) Thanks for linking up with #itsok
Claire - Life, Love and Dirty Dishes
Yes to all of these. It’s ok to devour a sharing bag of malteasers by yourself after a crap day. #itsok
Nicole
Oh definitely! Just as it’s ok to finish off your kid’s Easter chocolates;) Thanks for joining us Claire…
Kate
YES!!! Love these! xxx #itsok
Nicole
Thanks for joining us again this week Kate!
#itsok
Rachel ~ Kids, Cuddles and Muddy Puddles
I nodded along to each and every one of those! I don’t think I do no.10 enough though, I let the guilt kick in and too often forget to give myself any “me” time. Thanks for the reminder that it’s ok!
#itsok
Nicole
Yes, we are often so tied up with keeping the kids and other half happy/ fed/ entertained etc etc etc, that we are too drained to do anything for ourselves. But we must! And #itsok to take ‘time out’ sometimes. Thanks for linking up with us…
Kayleigh (Mini Human Resources)
Great post! I’m feeling this today as I serve my kids frozen pizza and hide in the loo on my phone to have two minutes to myself!! #itsok
Nicole
Oh I do the loo thing SO OFTEN!!! When push comes to shove and all that;) Thanks for linking up with us at #itsok
Natalie
I absolutely love this!!!
It’s so true~I think many of us think that parenting should be wonderful and easy, and yes it’s wonderful but sometimes it’s very hard too. Fab post~we should all be kinder to ourselves for sure xx #itsok
Nicole
Thank you Natalie, that’s a lovely comment. No doubt parenting is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, but it’s the hardest, most challenging job – one that drains you physically and mentally! And a little bit of self-love is more than ok. Thanks for linking up with us. #itsok
Noleen Miller
Oh can definitely relate to most of these – great post #itsok
Nicole
Thank you Noleen. And thanks for linking up with #itsok
AddybPoppund
Totally agree with all of this. Love your child. Parent the way that feels right for your family. Haters be hating ?
Nicole
Fab comment. Completely agree. Thanks for linking up with #itsok
Gemma - Mummy's Waisted
Is it bad that I can tick off all of these?! #itsok
Nicole
NOT. AT. ALL. Its absolutely ok!!!:) Thank you so much for linking up with us at #itsok
Morgan Prince
Even with boys aged 9 and 13 I still do the checking Facebook and Twitter when on the loo! And yes, I still get interrupted when I’m in there – it must be something they’re taught when they’re foetuses and they never forget!!! ?
#itsok
Nicole
Hahaha that made me nod along in agreement and laugh at the same time! Seriously, what aversion do kids have with us going to the loo?!
Thanks so much for joining us at #itsok
Stuart
100% agree with all of these! #itsok
Nicole
Thanks for linking up with us:)
Jo - Cup of Toast
Yes, some of these are familiar! #itsok
Nicole
🙂 glad I’m not the only one!!! Thanks for linking up with us at #itsok Jo.
Susie / S.H.I.T.
The mum guilt is neverending isn’t it. I am constantly feeling like I’m not giving them enough attention, too much attention, they’re spending too much on screens (that’s a permanent mum guilt of mine!) and the list goes on. It’s always good to feel that it’s OK and we’re all doing the same things. #itsok
Nicole
Too much screen time is a permanent mum-guilt of mine too! And yes, it is never-ending – whatever we do we feel it’s never enough or good enough and feel crap about it! But it does feel good to know we’re all in the same boat and that #itsok! Thanks so much for linking up with us Susie:)
Lisa Pomerantz
What a great post! It’s like, you know me! #Itsok Thanks for this great new linky! xoxo
Nicole
Thank you Lisa, you are too sweet. I’m glad you like the new linky and we hope to see you there every week:)
Daydreams of a mum
We all need to hear this from time to time!!! #itsok
Nicole
Yes, we so do, and we need to know that we all do it at some point and that it is really ok! Thanks for linking up with us again…
Crummy Mummy
Um, I’ve done all of these things – more than once too! #itsok
Nicole
Brilliant;) We’re all human and it’s #ok!!!
Thanks for linking up with us.
Helen Copson
Every single ONE! Seriously, do you have CCTV cameras in my house or something?! #ItsOK
Nicole
Hahaha Helen, as the saying goes, we’re all sailing (sinking?) in the same boat!!!
Charlotte Stein
Yes, yes yes to all of these! I’m glad I’m not alone and this really does help ease my Mum guilt #itsok
Nicole
Yes Charlotte, as much as we like to claim we don’t do this or that as mums, eventually, we all give in. It’s essential for survival!
Twicemicrowaved tea
I’m with you on all of these. And it’s also ok to threaten to take new toys back to the shop (even if there is no intention of taking the toys back to the shop!) #itsok
Nicole
Oh yes, of course. I even threaten to throw them in the garbage!!! #itsok, isn’t it?
Josie - Me, Them and the Others
Definitely ok to threaten to a cancel a birthday party in the face of obnoxious behaviour, it’s a bit like calling Santa, I start doing it earlier and earlier every year! #itsok
Nicole
Ah, Santa never fails to get shit done!!! Even go to bed at a respectable time (for once) on Christmas Eve!
MomOfTwoLittleGirls
and #Itsok to tell your kids your cheese on toast is spicy because you just don’t want to share! Again!
Thanks for linking up to the #itsok linky – love this blast from the past!
Nicole
Oh yes of course, so much of what I eat is spicy!!! (wink wink)
Tracey Carr
Mine would be #itsok to take a detour on your way home to a cafe and treat yourself to a lovely latte or cappuccino. I used to feel such mum guilt about getting home as soon as I could that whenever I was out I would not waste a single extra minute on myself. But I have come from that and now anytime I am out and about, whether it is shopping or running errands, if I feel like a nice coffee I will take an extra fifteen minutes to buy myself one. What’s another few minutes? They will still be there when you get back. And remember you deserve it! #itsok
Nicole
Lovely one Tracey, and so important as well. We don’t just deserve that me-time, but NEED it too! Thanks for linking up with us at #itsok
Crummy Mummy
I pretty much do all of these on a regular basis! #itsok
Nicole
We must, in order to make it through the day…