No introduction needed for this one. If you're mothering a boy, you will just KNOW these. And relate!
1. Farts are the centre point of your son's existence, and the source of most jokes
2. You will find yourself saying one of these sentences at least five times every day
– Take your hand out of your pants
– Stop touching your wee-wee
– Take your hand out of your bum
– Put your pants back on
3. The knee area of ALL your son's pants will either be torn or grazed or faded. No chance of keeping them for Baby No. 2.
4. You will have to learn ALL the superheroes names, and in time will know them all.
5. You will also have to pretend to be one or the other superhero at some point in time.
6. There will be cars. Lots of them. In all colours and sizes. There will also be certain rules for playing with them. You will have no choice but to follow these rules.
7. Boisterous noises such as action heroes make, and sound effects of different vehicles (nino-nino for a fire engine and vroom vroooom for a car) will be a part and parcel of life with boys. Learn to live with it.
8. Getting stabbed by a sword or jabbed by a karate chop/ superhero kick, or getting pounced upon during a game of wrestling will also be inevitable. Learn to enjoy pain.
PS: Objects and toys will occasionally fly through the room. Duck in time.
9. Lego will be everywhere. Lots and lots of it. Learn to be patient while your son makes towers/ aeroplanes/ zoos/ spaceships. No doll houses. Don't even suggest it.
10. Arts/ crafts/ basically anything that requires SITTING DOWN IN ONE PLACE for a period of more than 15 minutes will not be possible. Little girls can sit for what in toddler time seems like hours and happily colour or stick. Little boys will get fidgety once the novelty wears off and will make a loud car/ train/ aeroplane sound and whizz off to find something more boisterous to do!
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