7 things it’s pointless doing after having a baby
You know motherhood will change you. Your feelings. Your priorities. Your work-life balance. Being a mom will make you fatter, sleepier, more responsible and perhaps more patient. You will do things you never thought you would do. Like stand and stare at garbage trucks or play ringa-ringa roses on the toilet…
BUT
There are 7 things (and counting) which it will be completely pointless doing once you’re a mom. So don’t waste your time; just take a nap instead!
1. Keeping a clean house
Serious, why even bother? Because from the second your baby / toddler / threenager is awake till they are sound asleep, your house will continually look like
a) a garbage dump
b) a tornado-struck site or
c) a warehouse of children’s toys and products.
If you tidy up the legos, there will be cars strewn all around a minute later. If you vaccuum at 10 am, there will be biscuit crumbs on the floor by 10.07 am. If you clean the windows, sticky hands will touch them within the hour. Take it from me, don’t attempt a tidy-up till bedtime rolls over.
2. Cooking with too much love
You’re a mum. Your primal maternal instinct is to nurture and feed your baby. Post breastfeeding, once baby is weaned, you embark on a journey of pureed food sprinkled with the healthiest ingredients and a whole load of love. Till approximately the fifth meal when you realise that most of it lands up on the floor or in the bin. Quick fixes, batch-cooking and the like take over.
3. Wearing white
Forget white even exists. Your clothes will have a healthy mix of milk, spit-ups, snot, puke, pee and other stains ranging from dirty fingerprints to paint marks to sticky gooiness (which could really be anything!)
4. Enjoying a hot cuppa…
Word of advice: learn to love cold coffee and ice tea. Because that’s how every cuppa’s going to be after you become a mom. The microwave will become your best friend, trust me…
5. Having an uninterrupted conversation (phone or otherwise)
Whether it’s an important work call or just a catch-up with a friend over coffee, you won’t be able to get two complete sentences out of your mouth before one of the following happens:
a) Your sleeping baby wakes up – howling her guts out
b) You are shouting ‘Don’t touch that’ or ‘Stop doing that’ every three seconds, to your inquisitive toddler who is ‘touching that’ or ‘doing that’
c) Your toddler is emptying the sugar sachets all over the table at the cafe
6. Leaving the house on time
Forget it! It’s next to impossible. Gone are the days of putting your jeans on, slipping your shoes on and out of the door. Now it’s pack nappy bag, dress baby, dress yourself with multitude interruptions, change baby as she’s just spit-up, apply generous amounts of dry shampoo to your unwashed hair, damn, has she just pooped? Change her again…
If you have a toddler, it’s more or less the same drill, except that toddler will want to pee just as you are at the door or will insist on wearing her own shoes and take a minimum of ten minutes doing that. Breathe…
7. Losing weight, especially if you’re planning a second child
We all have that Yummy Mummy image of being svelte and toned post-baby, running through the park pushing a buggy and eating a salad for lunch. The reality is you are too effing exhausted to get out of your PJs, and running behind your crawling baby is the most exercise you can manage. Salads? Who are you kidding? Most meals comprise a cracker and a microwave pizza!
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I’ve linked this post with these fab linkies
Yippee! This was ‘most read post’ on #FridayFrolics
Madhu
Omg! Love this one!!
Nicole
Thanks love.. don't you agree?;)
Tina Shroff
So true. All of them. Little man keeps you busy I see.
Nicole
On my toes…
Sharin Butani
True. True. True…
Nicole
Lol… you would know Sharin:)
Tubbs
So true! Privacy is another thing that goes when you have little ones.
Nicole
Absolutely… including in the loo! You might enjoy this post
https://talesfrommamaville.com/skip-to-the-loo-my-darling/
Thanks for reading:)
Lisa | Pass The Prosecco Please
So true. Will never wear white ever again! ##STAYCLASSYMAMA
Nicole
One of the MANY sacrifices we make!
Sarah
All of the above is absolutely true! I now have three little treasures, including a two year old and a three year old, my house hasn't been cleaned properly since 2008! Whoops! I never wear white, and they all eat a lot of pizza! Great blog. Love it! #StayClassyMama
Nicole
Thank you lovely… no to whites and yes oh yes to pizza!!!
WebMDiva
FACTS! Especially wearing white and having an uninterrupted phone call. (Or bathroom trip.)
#StayClassyMama
Nicole - Tales from Mamaville
Oh yes trips to the loo too! I've penned an entire post on that one?
https://talesfrommamaville.com/skip-to-the-loo-my-darling/
Paula from Her Life Is Love
I can definitely relate to all of these…and in particular, number 7. We're working on that second child, so no thoughts of exercising baby weight off at all.
Nicole
😉 Good luck!!!
Jade The Parenting Jungle
Yes yes yes to all of them…specifically the cooking right now. The days I spend making homemade masterpieces full of veggies my kid freaks out and wont eat it. If its not beige or a carbohydrate he wont eat it. I dont think I have ever worn white but totally gave up making an effort when I became a mum..I wil be filthy within 5 minutes! Thank you for linking to #stayclassymama xx
Nicole
Homemade masterpieces lol – I love how that sounds! Typical toddler behaviour isn't it? You make a healthy, made-from-scratch meal and toddler is at his fussiest that meal:(
Harry's Honest Mummy
I could add a few others to that list. My main one is "book any beauty appointments". Those days are long gone! If and when I do get the odd chance he ends up coming with me. The last time we went I was trying to have my eye bows waxed with a child body slamming me on the bed! 🙂 #TheList
Nicole
Ouch, yes, that one too. We've got to accept looking like crap now:(
Peachy and her Mommy
Ever since becoming a mom I am chronically late for everything. Having a baby makes everything take twice as long. #StayClassyMama
Nicole
Agree. You have to double the time for almost every task and outing.
MomOfTwoLittleGirls
Sadly all true. I even laughed at my mom when we fetched her from the airport two weeks ago – she was wearing white jeans!! (Yes, she’s a young trendy granny)
#fridayfrolics
Nicole
Wow, trendy granny indeed!
PS: Did the jeans stay white?;) lol
Thanks for popping over…
Emma Island Living 365
Haha, these are all so true! I am sitting in the middle of a tip right now. I would clean it but what’s the point? They will just trash it again. We need to add car in there too. My car is like the skip wagon. The kids have ruined it! #FridayFrolics
Nicole
Cars. So right. They do land up looking like skip wagons once the kids take over!
Heather Burnett
OH YES!!! SO ACCURATE!!!! #blogcrush
Nicole
Thanks!
Mama Grace
I still try number 1 and 2. I have to try! Number 7 resonates with me. #FridayFrolics
Nicole
Ah, we mothers never learn, do we?! We just keep on trying, hoping that today will be different! Thanks for popping over:)
The Squirmy Popple
Yup, I’m with you! My house constantly looks like a toy store vomited all over it. And despite my best intentions, I probably rely a bit too much on baked beans and fish fingers. #FridayFrolics
Nicole
Baked beans and fish fingers ALWAYS work, don’t they?;) Thanks for popping over…
Claire - Life, Love and Dirty Dishes
My wardrobe doesn’t have a single white item in it anymore. In fact I don’t think I’ve worn white since 2009. I wonder what happened in 2009?!?! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics
Lucy At Home
Oh yes these are all so true! We’re out of the nappy stage now, but you can guarantee that the minute we need to leave the house, one of them will suddennly be desperate to use the toilet! Grrr! Haha #blogcrush
Nicole
Always!!!
Silly Mummy
Haha – very true! I looked at my pretty white summer addresses, gathering dust in the wardrobe the other day, and laughed. Thanks so much for joining us for #FridayFrolics
Melissa Javan
This is so true it’s kinda funny too. But I’m tired to laugh so I’m smiling. Thank you for getting me.
Nicole
Thanks for reading Melissa:)
Sarah | Mummykind
All so relatable! Though FINALLY now that the little one is not so little anymore I do manage a hot cup of tea (plus it’s the only reason I go to work!)
Sarah | Mummykind
#ItsOK (forgot to add that bit, oops!)
Nicole
Ah that hot cuppa is crucial to surviving the day, isn’t it?!
Helen Copson
All so true! I never wear white, but I did stupidly make the mistake of wearing black today – just as bad. Covered in snot within half an hour, then both twins decide to grab my sleeves as I’m cleaning them up after their beans on toast – which they basically ate with their hands 🙁 #itsOK
Nicole
Guess with babies and toddlers, it don’t matter if it’s black or white!;)
Emma : Ettie and Me
omg all of these are soooo true! I love it ha ha
Nicole
Thanks, yes, all true!
Tracey Carr
Oh it’s so true!! I am tempted to send this to my younger sis who is currently expecting her first but I almost don’t have the heart to! I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, some things you just have to find out for yourself. I have completely gotten used to the cold cups of tea but number 5 is the one that really makes my eye twitch. I rarely have a solid conversation with anyone when the two duckies are about, it is completely impossible. That’s what cartoons are for! #itsok
Nicole
Yeah, we just get used to this new normal, and work around it right (what would we do without cartoons and YouTube?!). Chuckled a bit at the thought of your sister reading this and thinking: OMG!!!
kate - The Mum Conundrum
Oh yes!!!!… Come to think of it, my two eldest are nearly 8 & 6 now, and these rules STILL apply to all (although my tea is sometimes still lukewarm by the time I get to it, so… you know, minor win there). Life’s too short for diets and tidying! Pass me the hobnobs! #Itsok xxx
Nicole
Hobnobs indeed! #itsabsolutelyok!!!
Jacqui
OK, let me just admit, that the only reason I cook now, is so that my kids can survive… My creativity in the kitchen, died…. A.LONG.TIME.AGO 🙂 … Also, I don’t have one white item in my cupboard… Never mind a hot cuppa, I don’t even get to finish my wine!!! Accpetance is key, like accepting the love handles, the saggy boobs and of course the stretch marks! All for a good cause… RIGHT? #itsok
Nicole
I also cook just so there’s food on the table and no-one goes hungry (or resorts to fish fingers again) – no time for the fancy shmancy stuff! Yes, accept and just get on with it (the wine helps!!!).
Noleen Miller
So true – I’ll add another one “getting dressed up and wearing makeup”. I use to wear yoga pants and old t-shirts #itsok
Nicole
Oh yes, that too!!! I look like a rag on the school run!
Crummy Mummy
All so true! I would add having a bath in peace – impossible! #itsok
Nicole
Oh yes! That too…