December was the month to make merry
drink mulled wine, Baileys and sherry.
Eat christmas puddings and mince pies
And to slim waistlines say goodbye…
Come January and everything's sore
The extra pounds you now cannot ignore
It's time to get your life back on track
Although you'd much rather hit the sack!
Detox is the word of the hour
Detox is what will empower.
Quit the treats and the booze
Hit the treadmill, more calories to loose.
Early to bed, early to rise
A refreshed you – now that's the prize.
Green tea and carrot juice
PUT DOWN THAT CHOCOLATE MOUSSE!
No shopping, no spending; expenses are curbed
Your house, your life and you seem quite disturbed.
Make a to-do list and get going
Those muffin tops are still showing!
Your blog's not updated, no new posts to show
Your energy levels are far too low.
Your kids gotta get up for school
Oh January, why are you so cruel?
As I make my resolutions I fondly remember
How happy I was back in December
Oh you cruel January detoxification
Why are you so anti-celebration?
I'm so glum and no, I'm not doing fine
I REALLY NEED THAT ONE GLASS OF WINE.
A chocolate won't hurt, just a bite
I promise it will make me alright.
Now I feel more normal again
Even a little bit more sane.
I can take on the rest of the year
And soon enough, it will be Christmas cheer!
PS: No, I am not an alcoholic or a chocoholic (the chocoholic part, however, could be debatable) and I do not depend on either for my sanity (except probably on days when my three-year-old drives me nuts!!!). This poem is just in jest. To help you and me get through the January blues. How do you beat the detox blues?
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