Resolutions 2017: A parody

As one year came to an end
I decided to make amends.
Change some things (just a few)
Toss bad habits and start anew.

New Year Resolutions
(a fancy term for a solution).
I've made a long(ish) list
But… with a twist!

You see, I'm not so good with this stuff
Sticking to these promises is tough!
But this year I'll give it a try
So here goes… (can you hear me sigh?)

I will be a calmer mum
and consume less wine and rum.
I'll do arts and crafts and play-doh crap
Instead of letting my three-year-old nap.

I'll read EVERY word and EVERY page of the same book
EVERY night without giving that wtf look.
I'll make fresh food for lunch AND dinner
Yeah, this year, I'll be a sinner winner!

I won't be a slave to electronics
Instead, I'll go outdoors and get my kicks.
We don't need TVs and smartphones
(Did you hear the low moan?)

I'll bake and cook and clean everyday
all with a smile and a hurray!
I'll embrace the tantrums with a smile,
For he'll be a threenager only for a while.

I won't give in to chocolates and treats
I won't get upset if my son won't eat.
It's ok if he wakes up at dawn
I'll let it go after a yawn.

I'll exercise and get fit again
Even if it drives me insane.
No wasting time on Facebook anymore
(THAT, I will miss for sure!)

I'll be more organised at home and online
Yes, this year, everything will be fine.
Laundry and dishes will not pile up
I'll be as cool as the Paw Patrol Pups!

I will make time to blog everyday
My linkies and comments will not be delayed.
I'll tick things off my to-do list
(unless, of course, I give in and get pissed!)

Because, you see, January will go swell
February and March too, pretty well.
Come April and it will start going slow
And by June I'll have nothing to show!

This year I solemnly swear to be good
In life, blogging and motherhood.
Well, it's still to be seen
What I will make of 2017!

 

 

 

 

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22 Comments

  1. firoza

    Absolutely SUPER!! THOROUGHLY ENJOYED READING THE ‘POEM’.

  2. Sharin Butani

    Funny and so true. Every momma’s poem

    1. Nicole

      Thank you Sharin!

  3. Claire - Life, Love and Dirty Dishes

    Love this and I was with you until the bit about shunning chocolate. Chocolate keeps me sane! All the best for 2017 Nicole. x Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

    1. Nicole

      Haha… I can’t do without chocolate either! Hence… parody!!! Have a super 2017 too Claire!

  4. Emma Island Living 365

    Ahhhhhh, this is brilliant! Love it. I too need to stop rolling my eyes and mouthing WTF when reading some of my kid’s books, over and over again! #FridayFrolics

    1. Nicole

      Thank you Emma. Best of luck for the (re)reading!!!

  5. Friday Frolics – 13th January 2016 – R is for Hoppit

    […] favourite post: ‘Tales from Mamaville – Resolutions of a 2017 Parody. Brilliantly clever post that had me nodding along in agreement and chuckling away. I can only hope […]

    1. Nicole

      Thank you so much for choosing this as ‘Favourite Post of the Week’ – thrilled:)

  6. Mom of two little girls

    haha … too funny. Loved this!
    #globalblogging

  7. Jeannette

    So funny! You are very talented. “..consume less wine and rum..” It is the 17th and already I lost this resolution! ? #globalblogging

    1. Nicole

      Aww thank you for your kind comment. And I lost that resolution before the first half of January, so don’t fret;)

  8. Mackenzie Glanville

    haha this is brilliant! Oh gosh I tried to be art and craft mum, but playdoh oh my gosh it is just the worst!! Thanks for joining #globalblogging

    1. Nicole

      I hate the cleaning-up after Play Doh:( (and thus often make excuses as to why we can’t play with it!!!). Thanks for reading!

  9. Rhyming with Wine

    Well now you know I love a spot of rhyming and this is right up my street! I’m with you on pretty much all of the above resolutions, although it’s unlikely that mine will last anywhere near April haha. Hope you have a brilliant 2017 Nicole. Thanks so much for linking to #DreamTeam x

    1. Nicole

      I’m so glad you enjoyed it Dawn! Coming from you, I am thrilled – you are the Queen of Rhyme! Great to join this linky and all the best to you too for 2017!

  10. One Messy Mama

    Fantastic! Such a great way to put it! Loved the way you put New Years Resolutions into a rhyme! Wishing you all the best for 2017. Thank you for linking up with #globalblogging

    1. Nicole

      Thanks so much Jacqui. Wish you the best for the new year too!

  11. WebMDiva

    Love this! I'm vowing to do all of the same things. Is this year over yet? (I'm kind of missing the rum. LOL)

     

    Thanks for joining us this week to #ShowMeYours … hope to see you again tomorrow!

    1. Nicole

      Hahahaha, my resolutions remain (as always) a parody! New year, same old same old! See you at the next link-up!

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