Do you just not want to be touched?
Motherhood is a strange experience. On the one hand, we melt at the very thought of our children, go to any lengths to keep them safe and happy, make sacrifices that we’ve never made before and miss the noisy
monsters angels the second they are out of sight.
We often want a day ALONE, with no kids to care for, no bums to wipe or food scraps to pick up. No cartoons on, no appeasing little unreasonable human beings. That’s motherhood for you, full of contradictions. (Read ‘The Emotional Rollercoaster called Motherhood‘ to know exactly what I mean).
Now I’m not saying that working mums have it easier (mums are mums, period) but being a SAHM myself, I know that sometimes it just gets a bit too much. Baby latched to your breast every other hour, toddler clinging to your leg or watching you pee (read this post for a relatable chuckle: Skip to the loo, my darling), kids climbing all over you while you try to write one blog post… and then at the end of a long day when the kids are FINALLY in bed, our husbands want a piece of us.
Don’t you just feel like shouting ENOUGH!!! Just give me my space, my body back, just for 10 minutes!
I admit, I often feel this way (much to Hubster’s dislike) and often read other mums posts/ comments on this, so I thought of integrating it into a post. I put the question out there – Do you feel ‘touched out’ at the end of a long day of mothering, and just want to be left alone? Do you feel terrible about it? Like when your husband wants to cuddle and sleep but you want your space. Or your kiddo wants to sit on your lap and you refuse?
And the answers were a unanimous, resounding YES!!!
Urgh yes – often! I love my husband and so want quality time with him but am all physical contact out by the end of a day with my kids. Need a little something left for you sometimes.
Emma from Emma Reed
I remember when I was breastfeeding my first that I never wanted to be touched much. The last thing I felt like was getting frisky in bed at night! I just wanted to be left alone to have space and sleep. Once you’ve had a baby hanging off you all day you do appreciate those alone times.
Emily from A Slummy Mummy
I have been breastfeeding and/or pregnant for nearly 6 years, sometimes it’s like everyone wants a piece of you! Beyond feeling touched out is aversion, a real primal instinct to throw yourself free from physical touch and run far away…. when I have that I can’t even cope with the brush of a hand on my arm. I love my children and my husband by oh my I’d like my body back one day.
Jennie from Rice Cakes and Raisins
I really struggle with this, I’m quite introverted and by the end of the day I feel so touched out it can feel like torture once I get past a certain point. It’s very hard to explain!
Victoria from The Growing Mum
I went through this for night feeds at some point. I recoiled every time little one latched at night. I felt really awful and selfish. I tried thinking of other things during night feeds but most of the time that didn’t work. The lack of sleep didn’t help either.
I’m very introverted and it can be really hard to be surrounded by a little one all day long and then have your partner come home and want attention. I need a little gap even if just an hour to myself between the two to recharge! As a couple we’ve compromised and by giving me that space I need, we end up with higher quality time together even though there’s less of it. I don’t feel guilty with my husband as he understands – but when my son just wants to be held all day and my arms are aching and I just want to put him down, have a cup of tea and read a book for half hour, I do feel very guilty, as he has no concept of why mummy doesn’t want another 8 hours of hugs right now.
Georgina from Pixie Does
Yes I get like that – mostly with my 3-year-old and I feel awful for it. It’s not often – but we have a four-seater sofa, plenty of space on it, but my 3-year-old sits nestled up to me, leaving a huge space by the hubby. I’ll have the baby on me too and just want to not have another child hanging off me for 5 minutes. I get really overwhelmed by the constant clinginess.
Louise from The Pear Bear
Yes definitely, I can relate to this, I want everyone to leave me alone by the end of the day. My kids are older now, and in school so I don’t get so touched out by them but I think it’s more noise these days, I get used to the peace and it gets so noisy after school that I just have no talk left by the end of the evening. I do feel bad on my husband but equally I’m entitled to quiet.
I changed jobs in the summer which means I now work from home and my daughter is at home with me. After a full day of being followed around the house and having no privacy, all I wanted to do when she goes to bed is sit in the front room on my own. My poor husband understands but I do feel sorry for him but at the same time I just need a couple of hours alone to recharge for the next day of follow my leader.
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