You might've read my post 'The A-Z of Parenting' which, as the name suggests, is an alphabetical list of things we do, emotions we feel and experiences we have as parents. But there are some things that are unique to mums (physically and emotionally), and only a mum will 'get it'. Here's an alphabetical tongue-in-cheek peek at motherhood as only we know it!
A – Arse. It just keeps getting BIGGER after pregnancy!!! (And not the sexy Beyonce type of bigger, just fatter!)
B – Boobs. Or lack thereof. Or sagging ones. Breastfeeding has its benefits sure but wtf happens then?!
C – Has to be for Coffee. Whether we like it or not, we NEED it. And so we love it.
(Read my related post: I'm having an affair, and it's no secret for more on my love affair with this beverage)
D – Don't give a shit (about a dirty house/ dirty kid/ take-away for dinner). An extension of which is point E…
E – Exhaustipated. The definition of which is – Too tired to give a shit! Something every mum feels every day.
F – The FATHER (of our kid/s, obvs!). Besides having played an essential role in bringing the kid/s into this world, he plays an important role in the following:
a) Being a dumping ground for our babies when we've had an entire day cleaning poo, cleaning crumbs, cleaning messes, not cleaning ourselves, listening to Wheels on the goddamn bus, listening to them howl their guts off because they are so tired but refuse to nap…
b) Being a dumping ground for our tantrums and bad moods which are often a result of point a
G – Is for the guilt trip that all moms go on. For free. On a bus named Momguilt.
H – Hair appointments. THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. We learn to live with greys and split-ends, just like we learn to live with vomit and farts.
I – Indecisiveness about whether to sleep when your baby/ toddler goes to bed, or stay up for another hour (or three) scrolling through Facebook despite being exhausfuckingtated – just to enjoy some quiet me-time. Here comes the Mombie.
J – "Just coming". Two words you utter at least 10 times daily, to your ever-needy toddler who calls you for everything, every three minutes. Of course, a mum's version of "just coming" means I'll come after I've finished whatever I'm doing (peeing/ pooping included) or is just a phrase we say hoping they'll eventually forget…
K – is for that Killer Instinct we develop as mums, when any other child tries to hurt ours
L – Is for being Late. For everything. All the time.
M – Mom jeans, Mom bun, Mom dark circles – effectively, the Mom look
N – The most uttered Mom word – "NO"
O – Oops. Another oft-uttered word. When we make #Mummyfails. When toddler has an accident. When baby spills his breakfast. What's motherhood without a few oops moments in a day?!
P – Playgroups and Playdates. Bless those mummy-toddler playgroups that offer some sort of sanity during those early months. You get to talk to other ADULTS. Who are swimming sinking in the same exhausted, spit-up-filled boat as you. And it's ok if your baby's howling because their babies are howling too.
Q – Questions. From "Why do I have to sleep at all?" (sleep-hating toddler) to "When are you planning your next baby?" (relative of a relative who should really be minding her own bloody business)
R – Repitition. Put on your shoes. Wear you coat. Brush your teeth. Put on your shoes. Wear you coat. Brush your teeth. WEAR YOUR SHOES. PUT ON YOUR COAT. BRUSH YOUR TEETH.
S – The School Run. OMG the stress of the school run. Accounts for 95 per cent of my currently white hair.
T – Tired. A constant feeling. Related to point e.
U – Undying love. No love is as strong as a mother's. Believe me.
V – Venting. All the frustrations, exhaustions, irritations. Fix up a date with your bestie (even better if she's a mum), drink a steep cocktail and vent vent vent. It feels good!
W – Has to be for Wine. Every mum's manna from heaven. The worst of days can be forgotten with a glass of wine…
X – X-citing. X-hausting. X-hilarating. Emotions that well describe being a Mom.
Y – Yawn. You will do this throughout the day, without even realising it
Z – is for zzzzzz. HAHAHAHA who are you kidding? Sleep is a myth…
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I've linked this post with these fab linkies
Tracey
Great list! I think I have experienced it all, especially the exhaustipated feeling 🙂 #globalblogging
Nicole
Thanks for reading!
One Messy Mama
I tried to find one that I loved the most, but these are all freaking brilliant! 🙂 LOVE! #globalblogging
Nicole
Hahaha… thanks much!
Rach
Yes to all of this! Especially G with the guilt. I feel it ALL the time but am trying to get over it. Its just such a futile emotion. Thanks for sharing with #GlobalBlogging
Nicole
Hate the guilt too. It sucks. And as much as we try to feel it's OK, the damn guilt resurrects itself again!!!
The Tale of Mummyhood
I was nodding all the way through this, ah parenthood! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx
Nicole
Parenthood… the PERFECT example of highs and lows and good days and bad days and awesome days and terrible days, isn't it?!
mums' army
Fantastic!!! I was like Yep, Yep, Yep, Check, Check, Check. I think 'just coming' were the first words my baby said as he had heard them shouted at his brother every single second of the day!! xx #Blogstravaganza
Nicole
Hahaha, that's hilarious:)
Stephanie
Yep! Except I don't know about the school runs yet. I didn't know I was supposed to dread them until I started reading blogs. 🙂 #blogstravaganza
Nicole
Best of luck;) its all I can say!!!
Thanks for reading…
The Mum Project
Love this list! Completely captures what it means to be a mom, I especially like the word eshaustipated haha. Thanks for sharing with #GlobalBlogging!
Nicole
Thanks Meagan:)
Nicole GORE
Thanks for sharing
Gemma - Mummy's Waisted
Exhaustipated, OMG that is the perfect expression for me. Is it wrong that I feel that pretty much all of the time?! #itsok
Nicole
Nope – I'm exhaustipated the second I wake up! Yaaaawn….
Ian (Dad, Dads Delicious Dinners)
A great post and as a veteran (7 years) single dad I can relate to some of them and I am constantly exhaustipated. #itsOK
Nicole
Agree Ian, parenting (whether mums or dads) is parenting, and we're all in the same boat!
Helen Copson
These are all SOOOOO TRUE! I'm sitting here with a mum bum, greasy hair and greys in my fringe, but no idea what to do about it! Oh and non-existent saggy boobs. Motherhood's great, isn't it? #ItsOK
Nicole
It's the BEST, Helen (*coughs*). No, seriously, it's AMAZING!!!
Enda Sheppard
You have to love it, really … otherwise!!! #ItsOK
Nicole
Exactly. Otherwise… you're kinda doomed!
Sarah-Marie
You have nailed it! Alas I don't like coffee so I live on tea. Oh how i wish I liked it in order to stave off the tiredness! #ItsOK
Nicole
I was always more of a tea person but after becoming a mum, I need my morning coffee. And afternoon pick-me-up coffee!
Sophie Holmes
Oh I really love this. Every single one of these speak to me but at the moment I am a complete and utter Mombie 😴😴😴
Nicole
5.5 years on and I'm still a Mombie. Yawwwwwn…
Helen
All very true! Currently mombying…
Nicole
Mombie seems to be the most popular;) But I can totally see why….
Helen
All very true! Currently mombying… #itsok
Josie - Me, Them and the Others
I am most definitely Exhaustipated! And agree about the school run? #itsok
Nicole
I'm perpetually exhaustipated too!
sonsovertheyardarm
Ha! Love it. "Exhaustipated" has made me very happy indeed. #itsok
Nicole
LOL… I love that word too!
Charlotte Stein
My Day can be summed up with E,I,Q and Y today! This post made me smile #itsok
Nicole
Hahaha, glad you found it relatable x
MomOfTwoLittleGirls
Exhaustipated might just be my new favourite word! lol
#itsok
Nicole
It's mine too… along with Mombie!!!
Crummy Mummy
I like the word exhaustipated – never heard that one before! #itsok
Nicole
It's the stage after exhausted… we all get there eventually!