Oh Cruel January Detox!

December was the month to make merry
drink mulled wine, Baileys and sherry.
Eat christmas puddings and mince pies
And to slim waistlines say goodbye…

 

 

 

Come January and everything’s sore
The extra pounds you now cannot ignore
It’s time to get your life back on track
Although you’d much rather hit the sack!

Detox is the word of the hour
Detox is what will empower.
Quit the treats and the booze
Hit the treadmill, more calories to loose.

Early to bed, early to rise
A refreshed you – now that’s the prize.
Green tea and carrot juice
PUT DOWN THAT CHOCOLATE MOUSSE!

 

 

No shopping, no spending; expenses are curbed
Your house, your life and you seem quite disturbed.
Make a to-do list and get going
Those muffin tops are still showing!

Your blog’s not updated, no new posts to show
Your energy levels are far too low.
Your kids gotta get up for school
Oh January, why are you so cruel?

 

As I make my resolutions I fondly remember
How happy I was back in December
Oh you cruel January detoxification
Why are you so anti-celebration?

I’m so glum and no, I’m not doing fine
I REALLY NEED THAT ONE GLASS OF WINE.
A chocolate won’t hurt, just a bite
I promise it will make me alright.

 

 

Now I feel more normal again
Even a little bit more sane.
I can take on the rest of the year
And soon enough, it will be Christmas cheer!

PS: No, I am not an alcoholic or a chocoholic (the chocoholic part, however, could be debatable) and I do not depend on either for my sanity (except probably on days when my three-year-old drives me nuts!!!). This poem is just in jest. To help you and me get through the January blues. How do you beat the detox blues?

 

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I’ve linked this post with #FridayFrolics, #bestandworst, #dreamteam & #coolmumclub

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14 Responses

  1. Ahhh, another brilliant poem! January is a cruel month, we need to be kind to ourselves and that means eat chocolate and drink all the wine 😉 #FridayFrolics

    • Thank you Emma. Agree… chocolate and wine are the best antidotes to cruel January:)

  2. I try to look on January as ‘new things’ month. But more like new notebooks and new calander rather than a new me! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

    • Good choice Claire! How about adding a ‘new’ box of chocolates to the list as well;)

  3. I like this poem- quite funny! 🙂

  4. Haha, I love this. I am always glad to see the back of January!

    #coolmumclub

    • Yeah… it takes a month to get over the hangover of Christmas! Thanks for reading:)

  5. Haha – great poem! Not commenting on whether I need a January detox!

    Thanks so much for joining us on #FridayFrolics

  6. LOVE! I am sitting here on my 18th day of no alcohol, I had kale in my dinner and I’m feeling pretty sorry for myself about the whole thing! ROLL ON FEBUARY! (Hey but I’ve lost 6lb so all worth it?!)
    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub

    • There should be another poem dedicated just to your dedication;) Well done you, and bonus, you lost some pounds too!!!

  7. Love this poem and discovering your fab blog. January is particularly miserable isn’t it…basically we don’t do anything because we over-indulged at Xmas! I can’t wait for February to come 🙂 but most of all I NEED that hot chocolate. Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam x

    • Hi Bridget, thanks for popping by and for your lovely comments.
      Yes, one needs hot chocolate to keep us warm and cheer us up through miserable January!

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